Dear Eric: I love my family. I went away as the gay black sheep but always have tried to be the one who gives back. I paid for college and a Ph.D. on my own steam (scholarships and three jobs). I have sent multiple gifts to everyone in the family over the years, despite my crushing student loan debt. I paid for my niece’s RN program after my brother abandoned her. I head home every holiday, give more cash, spend time.